tears in my imaginary m&ms

Crying a lot of tears of frustration today and blogging about it only because I have no other way of an outlet at the moment. I am tired. Worn out and tired of being strong. I want to scream, beat my fists at someone and eat an entire bag of M&M's but only if they are peanut butter. I am trying to be a Proverbs 31 woman and trying to bite my tongue and keep it together. Instead, naughty words are filling my head, my blood pressure is probably thru the roof and my kids are currently being ignored because my mind is so fogged. They keep coming up to me, asking me why I am crying and begging to go to the dollar store. I shew them away while giving them only a silly response as to why I am crying. I just tell them I am angry. I guess that is pretty much the truth. I am angry.
It is hard to keep trusting and hard to stay positive all the time. I try my best but days like today I feel very defeated. Then I overthink these stupid thoughts and then my world really becomes a mess.
Thank you blogger.com for being there when no one else is there for me to vent to or when I am too ashamed to vent because in the scheme of life my venting has no grounds. I am totally a dork who blogs when I am mad but sometimes it totally makes me feel better. Now I do feel better but unfortunately it is one of those annoying days where the tears are going to have a mind of their own and keep flowing even though I am over it. Oh how I hate that. I am convinced that is part of the curse of sin!

So, now that this entry is nearing the end, I feel better but my head is pounding, the tears have wet my entire face and dropped on my shirt and my mouth is still watering for peanut butter M&M's that I do not have and cannot eat. SIGH.