Joel and I are at a time in our lives where we are facing some decisions that are pretty important. I am really praying for wisdom that the right and best choice is made. It is not going to be easy.

My sweet husband told me I needed to leave town and visit family. :) haha. Sounds a bit harsh but he was really being sweet. Things have been a bit rough for me lately and he kindly and smartly suggested I get away and go see my family. He knows they are important to me and a nice distraction from things here that I am going through.. these things are nothing big, nothing that needs medication to fix... just a season of my life with some tears and struggles. Really, these seasons are the best usually. Sorrow can be a great thing. Not something that needs to be managed.

All that to say, I am super pumped to see my family.. and for the girls to be with grandparents. I love that my husband sees the importance of this in my life and in Nevaeh and Jesslyn's life. It will be a time of refreshing for me. I time to have friends and family around to help with the girls and to give me a much needed break from my seemingly monotonous life. I can't wait. I am also really hoping for some nice weather to get out on my dad's boat. Fingers crossed!!

My first 5K is coming up too fast!! Just three more days! I can't believe it!

this is what it's about

I woke up early this morning... planning on running. I kept hitting snooze and really was wanting to just go back to sleep. I opened up facebook and saw that I had a message... after reading it, I felt like getting up, getting on my shoes, and starting my day. It was encouraging to me.... it was just what I needed to read to start my day the right way. It was a note from a guy I went to high school with... and here is what it said....

I've been meaning to message you. I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you trying to help me find jesus and god and get into religion. I know it didn't make sense to me back then, but it has now. I have been going to church every sunday for awhile while. And i have been reading the bible religiously. I have found god and it is awesome I cant begin to tell you how he has been so great to me. I finally understand why people can be so enthused about jesus and god and how he works in such great ways. I really want to say thank you so much for thinking of me back then and what you did for me. You were the first person i thought of when god started working in my life and its great. So I hope all is well with you and joel and keep in touch I will be in longview in sept and we should defiantly get together. Thanks again

This is what life is about. This is what encourages me.

Just one more....

"You shut up, you put your pants on, you get a job and maybe one day you can love a woman. It is for men, not for boys."

Oh Driscoll, how I love your straight forward, honest, and raw preaching.

One more fave Driscoll quote!

"There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some
emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a
dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made
pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of
shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His
leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed.
That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo
Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up. I fear some are
becoming more cultural than Christian, and without a big Jesus who has
authority and hates sin as revealed in the Bible, we will have less
and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually
self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity."

-Mark Driscoll, The Panel. "7 Big Questions", Relevant Magazine, issue
24, Relevant Media Group.

some people

Some people will never get it. Some people will only live life to please themselves. Some people never consider others, only themselves. Lord please let me never let me be 'some people'. Better yet, don't let my kids be this way. If so, they will destroy many others in their paths. This is not what I want for my girls.

Joel and I just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. I cannot believe that I have been married almost as long as I was in school! CRAZY... and my oldest daughter is about to turn 9!

On another note, my family fun bus, also known as my uncool mom van, has been in the shop for over a week now. It is an easy fix for the most part but the parts were the thing holding us up. I gotta say, not having a car is terrible in many ways, but is also freeing in many ways. I am forced to stay home. Forced to get some much needed things done around the house. I currently have 8 garbage bags and two boxes full of things to be given away. Clean closets and painted rooms is what happens when my car is out of commission! I'll take that.

and soon, very soon... this mom is going to get something better and nicer and hopefully cooler than my mom van! Any suggestions?

This is a statue that belongs to a church up north from us about 20 miles. It faces the freeway and is known as butter Jesus or touchdown Jesus. It is huge and you can't help but see it while driving past. Well, last night, a huge thunderstorm rolled into town and lightning struck it and it burned totally to the ground. I think it is a bit sad considering how much money was put into it but also find it a bit disturbing anyways. A big image made.. manmade image... what for? A waste of money to me and just something to distract people from the real reason for worship. I guess you can say I almost feel it could be God's sense of humor. It was all the talk this morning on the news.. the story even made the Drudge Report!

On a side note, I took my kids to McDonald's for lunch today. I do not ever really do this but we needed to run some errands... and it is what they picked.... it was awful. The guy at the register totally got told he was on "lockdown" for leaving his register... he looked confused the entire time I ordered... and every mom that walked in the door reminded me of the Kate plus 8 lady. Loud. Bossy... LOUD. Ugh. I wanted to leave right then when the cashier looked at me like I had three heads and made me repeat my order three times. We stayed. The kids liked it and now they have some Shrek toy that will go in the trash later today.

Here are just some random things on my mind:

*I am getting closer to the date of my first 5K. I really am excited for that t-shirt to prove it!

*I often dream about vacations in Sunriver. It is my favorite place to be with my favorite people in the entire world.. my family.

*I am going to be married for ELEVEN years on the 18th of this month. WOW. I love my husband more each day. Seriously.

*I really wish I was growing my own tomatoes. I love home grown tomatoes. There is nothing like it.

*It is humid here. Seems more humid than years and summers past..... I do not like it humid.

*People come and go.. friends come in and out of our lives.... those who are true and who really mean a lot, seem to stay forever. I think those people are few and far between. Nothing bad about that, I think it is just how life goes. Seasons come and seasons go.....

*I feel as though I am constantly changing. My desires and wants change. My thinking changes, my attitude changes.... is this good?

*I really wanted to go white water rafting today...... isn't going to happen.

* We saw the new Karate Kid at the theatre the other night. I loved it. I love those movies where you can feel good about someone not being able to do something, but working hard to accomplish that one thing. Being dedicated. Good triumphing over evil. I love that!

I am in a funk. Hoping it passes soon. Life seems great and I am blessed, but life also seems hard and monotonous right now. Every day feels the same... and the days seem rather long. My girls seem like they need some new things or some excitement or some change. We are almost done with our schoolwork. A few more math lessons to go and one book of language arts left.... and lots of reading to be done over the summer. Not sure how to shake things up or to make life more exciting at the moment...... I guess this is normal. Life has its season.. this particular one can just be over with as far as I am concerned. I am done with it.

My kids love this show. As soon as we start watching it they get out the playdough, rolling pins, knives and whatever else they can find to use for good "cake making" tools. Nevaeh is actually pretty great at making flowers- and can make quite a nice little replica of a cake. It is a pretty fun show- makes me want to be Italian and have a fun, loud and chaotic Italian family.

Today seems like the longest day to me. Not sure why. Just a long one. Not good. Not bad. Just long.

lovin this song... and lovin my deck.

I keep playing this song this morning. Love it. Hillsong never disappoints me. I woke up this morning, went for a run, and have been on my deck for over an hour. Letting the girls play while I read and drink my coffee in the warm sun. THIS is the best way to start the day.






And our hope is in
The Saviour’s love
You gave it all

Let all Earth sing
To Christ our King
Be lifted up

Chorus:
For Your name
Shout in all the Earth
Great above our lives
Light of our salvation

Nations rise
Sing of all You are
Holy is Your name
Lifted high forever

For Your name
Shout in all the Earth
Great above our lives
Light of our salvation

Nations rise
Sing of all You are
Holy is Your name
Lifted high forever

I'm tired..... I'm weary. I'm in need of family around. I'm feeling very isolated. Weary- that's the perfect description. Things are bothering me but there's nothing I can do to change it. I just have to deal and make the most of it. I'm afraid I'll never be able to do that. I'm trying but it's making me weary. Exhausted and emotional. I hate being emotional. This is why I blog. It helps. For a minute, anyways.

a season for change... ?

I feel like change is coming... and I hope it is. Well, if it is the change I want ;) no really, I really am just ready for something new and different. Not totally certain what that means.... but I feel it.

I am starting to plan Nevaeh's ninth birthday party. I don't really like planning these things... at all. Should be easy though- just three friends staying the night... and watching the new Toy Story in the theatre! Should be fun. Still lots to do to get ready!

I woke up this morning and went for my run.... and now it is a little after ten and I feel like I sure could use a nap!!