Sometimes I wish I could write a blog that no one could read- just to vent.. just to be totally completely honest- without people being able to actually see in writing my troubling thoughts ;) I guess that would be like having a diary with a big lock on it so that only my eyes could see it.
So, completely off the subject, but in the last two days, I found out through facebook that a girl from my hometown got the horrible news this week that her three year old little boy has stage 4 of neuroblastoma, which is a kind of cancer. It is so amazing to me that one day your life can be fine, your children can be seemingly healthy, and then the next day they are headed into surgery while looking down the road filled with treatments of chemo and possibly more surgeries. I can't seem to shake thinking of this family. I can't seem to even begin to imagine putting myself in their shoes. To see my child laying there, feeling helpless to fix it. It is in these times that faith plays a huge part... and also in these times that I am reminded of what really matters in life. Money, things, chasing after that moment of happiness,etc.... those things no longer seem to matter. I waste way too much time with silly things. I am now challenged to love on my kids more.. to appreciate and count my blessings and to thank God for their health. Last night I let Jesslyn paint my toenails and fingernails. They look awful and I am pretty sure that I have more polish on my skin than on my nails. But I do not care. Her eyes lit up when I agree to let her paint them. She took such pleasure in painting them for me. I took ever greater pleasure watching her do it. Why do we lose focus? Why do we get so caught up on the stupid things around us that really don't matter? I hope this is a lesson I don't have to keep learning. I hope it sticks. I hope I love more, forgive easier, and just plain enjoy my kids to the fullest. We take too much for granted. We spend too much time worrying about stupid things instead of counting our blessings.
So here is a short list of things I am thankful for:
*healthy family.... parents are well! family members are well!
*a roof over our heads
*food in the fridge
*a job for Joel
*the chance to homeschool
*cars that work
*a marriage that is still together
*parents that love me and pray for me
*a knowledge and hunger for God
*mental health- without the help of medication- thank you Jesus!
and the list goes on and on.........
What are you thankful for today?